Episode 18: Things I Learned at Tennis Camp That Have Nothing to do with Tennis

Because if this was only about tennis, I would have lost you already...

Last weekend, I went to Tennis Camp…for adults! Yes, that’s right, friends. My middle-aged self went to camp, and it was simply amazing. I spent 15 hours playing tennis over the course of a long weekend, learned so much, spent time with my teammates, and simply had a full weekend doing something I really love.

As I soak in my all the edits to my technique and the skills I learned, I’m also reflecting on some of the things the weekend taught me (that surprisingly have nothing to do with tennis). Here’s what I discovered…

Find people who love the things you love, and you’ll be happier.
As adults, our friends consist of a mix of those we have known since we were younger and new friends we may have met along the way in adulthood. And when we do make new friends as adults, we find them in a mix of random ways—through work, through our kids, or through our partners. We have different friends for different reasons, and we know that every friend fits into our lives in a different way (as we do for them).

But how often do we make new friends from a shared hobby? Whether it’s a love of pottery-making, photography, books, or (in my case) tennis—find people that share your obsession, and you will be happier. And, it will save your other friends (who don’t share that interest) from having to hear all about it! :p

There will always be someone who is better than you. And, that’s okay.
One of the unexpected parts of camp was getting to see the coaches (former college and tour players) play tennis, too. Seeing someone up close do something at an extremely high level is so exhilarating and inspiring—this is why we all love sporting events, musicals, and concerts! But it also allows us to realize that some people are just naturally more inclined to learn some things faster, better, and deeper. And, that’s okay. Because you’re also better than others at things, too. It doesn’t mean we can’t all learn to be better at the things we want to be better at. No matter what comes naturally for us (or not), we can always be learning more about the things we want to grow in.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder (or weaker).
Sometimes you need to remove yourself from everyday life to see what parts of it you really love and what parts you don’t. I didn’t miss not having my phone and loved being outside and active so much. Not having my phone on my person all day was so completely freeing and made me think about when do I actually need to carry it around at home. It’s a lot less than you’d think.

We don’t always have to multi-task.
When I was at tennis camp, I spent almost the whole time outside on a tennis court. I didn’t look at my phone until I was done for the day. I didn’t think about the work on my to-do list. I didn’t think about the chores waiting for me at home. I didn’t worry that my kids needed me because I knew my husband had it covered. I just thought about tennis. It’s such a rare treat to be able to do that. But I also think that we (especially women) are trained to think that our ability to multi-task is a super power. And, it might be. But it also makes it hard for us to compartmentalize and intentionally block out other things on our mind when we need to.

Compartmentalizing is good when we need to focus on one thing, and the weekend showed me how it felt to successfully do it. What factors need to be removed to not get distracted or let your mind wander? Is it the presence of something calming like music while doing the thing you’re focusing on? Or it it the absence of something (like our phone) that can often make us distracted?

Ask real questions to get to know people better.
How often do we chat about the same stuff with acquaintances? I had a chance to spend more time (off the court) with some of my fellow teammates, and we really got into conversations that would have never come up on the court. We discussed relationships at length, and it was nice way to get to know each other better in a more intentional way. It started all because I chose to ask more than just “How your summer going?” which goes a a long way.

Vacations don’t have to be long for them to be valuable.
People always tell you to go on long vacation when you need a break, are feeling in a rut, or just need a change of scenery. And, there might be something wrong with me, but I actually don’t like long vacations (this is something I am unpacking in therapy). Long vacations don’t do for me what they do for other people—they often make me more anxious and less relaxed. While I know I am not the norm, what I mean is that something short is better than nothing at all. And for some people (like me), they can be just as restorative. Solo weekend getaways are actually my favorite because I don’t stress as much about work with everyone else being “off”, my husband can take care of the house and the kids, and it’s just enough time for me to get a break from the day to day.

Sometimes life gives you (non tennis) lessons when you least expect it.

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Pink tennis court image created by me with Midjourney AI. Also, what are those lines on the court that are not correct?! This is the oddness of AI, my friends.