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I think I'm a few years older than you but I know so many women my age - late forties - myself included, who are struck quite suddenly with extreme self-doubt. Some of it I put down to hormonal changes, some to how we are perceived by society, but a lot I put down to my perception of how we are perceived, if that makes sense...as you said, it's me against me. One thing I do when my self-esteem is low is try to see myself the way others say they see me. If I'm not feeling creative/successful/talented/like I've achieved enough/fill in the blank, I listen to my friends/followers/readers when they say I am/I have. Not sure what psychologists would say about this strategy, but sometimes it helps quiet the self-doubting voice in my head. Really enjoying your writing on here Joy x

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Hi Emily, So nice to hear from you! Thank you for sharing that! I also think it comes sometimes with a 2nd wave of life/careers. When we've been on a big high and peak and then now we're ready for something else new/different but don't know what that is yet. I once joked to my therapist that I had peaked, and she asked if it was possible for me to have another peak in this phase of my life. :P

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I relate 100% to this idea as well. The first post I ever published on here (a video actually) was explaining that writing here was part of me discovering what’s next in my life and connecting with others going through similar things. I know I haven’t reached my potential in life - I feel it in my bones - and yet it seems like things are winding down without my permission and I have no idea what it is I’m meant to do next. Good question from your therapist…

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Mar 26Liked by Joy Cho

I read this quotation once (on a Peloton Trainer’s page) that I thought was a nice way to capture a similar sentiment: “Not better than anyone else. Better than you were yesterday.” ❤️

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Oh yes, I love that! Thanks TT!

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