Episode 5: Therapy VS. Life Coaching

So, what's really the difference? Do you need one? I've done both, and here's what I think...

Once I got over the hump of learning to ask for help and leaning in to therapy, I saw this form of mental health as just one part of me working on myself to improve areas of my life (or, really, my responses to life) that I wasn’t totally happy with. Therapy doesn’t always have a place in our lives. I see all forms of help as tools for when you need them and something that can phase out when you don’t.

After having two kids and growing a business and a team, in 2017, I was struggling to figure out my place with my work and the future of my company. We were finishing up a huge milestone in my career—a 3-year licensing contract with Target—and I was unsure how my business would survive after being so used to having that brand connection, visibility, and consistent income for so long. I was in a constant state of panic not knowing if my business would continue to thrive and support the team I had grown during our busiest time ever. I was also learning to manage a growing team at work and felt overwhelmed with it all.

Around this time, someone reached out to me and said she noticed that (in my Instagram Stories) I had a shift in my tone—like I was worried about something. Meanwhile, I was thinking…

How on earth could she sense that without even knowing me?!

She (let’s call her “B”) was a life coach for female CEOs and wanted to offer me a session just as a thank you for enjoying my content. No strings attached. No sales pitch.

I never say no to things that come to you just as you need them, so of course, I said yes. After our first call, I was sold. I was ready to hear her sales pitch and her fee for more sessions. But instead, she didn’t think we had finished what she had hoped to help me with and ended up gifting me a couple more sessions. At no point did she even bring up working together or trying to convert me to a paid client. Clearly she did not take notes from the samples section at Trader Joe’s (because all I need to do is try it to buy it)!

Finally, I asked her if we could work together long-term since I had found her so helpful in just the few sessions we had together. We ended up working together for a year and a half until 2019.

Photo by Ryoji Iwata on Unsplash

Having been in therapy and having had a life coach, the distinction I’m about to expand upon is both based on my very specific experiences, how I see both as intentionally different from one another, and what I noticed from my own specific interactions with both. I don't see therapy and life coaching as competitive to one another. I think they offer different solutions for different needs. To me…

A therapist helps you with things in your life that are often tied to emotions (anxiety, anger, depression, etc.). These are things that get in the way of you being the person you want to be or handling situations how you want to. They explore the past (childhood, relationships, etc.) and previously learned habits or experiences that might be holding you back or affecting you. They help you find the root of the problems you are having (often from the past) to help you with the present. They give you the tools you need to undo or redo things in ways that will make you happier and healthier emotionally.

A life coach focuses on the present and helps you work through how to get to where you want to be in the future based on goals you set with them. Life coaches are meant to help you achieve the life that you want for yourself. Someone who works with a coach often has all the abilities to accomplish what they want, but the coach’s job is to facilitate the discovery of how they can accomplish those things and help them take the steps to achieve those things.

An executive coach focuses more on the business aspect of your life and your role as a leader or manager. They are well-versed in the pressures of those who have high-level positions and how that adds stress to one’s life.

Mine is sort of a mix between a life coach and an executive coach and chooses to only work with female entrepreneurs or high-level female executives.

I do find that therapists tap into your emotions more. I have cried a lot more in therapy sessions than in life coaching sessions. Also, therapy tends to favor in-person meetings, whereas life coaching is most often virtual.

Interestingly enough, just a couple months ago, my former life coach, B, sent me an email checking in and asking if I wanted to catch up for a quick chat.

Somehow she always manages to pop into my life just when I need her.

B was doing a touch base with some of her past clients, and she wanted to thank me for a referral I had given that brought her a recent client by gifting me another session to talk about whatever I wanted—if I wanted it. Of course I said yes, expecting to be able to vent about all the things I had in my head about new things I wanted to try with work. The hour with her was just what I needed to help clear my head, but also make me realize that I was ready to shift some of my mental health needs a bit.

I found my current therapist last year when I was struggling with a tough year personally and needed help handling my anxiety surrounding lots of things that were out of my control. She has helped me so much and allowed me to clear my head to focus on my work again in a way that I wasn’t able to last year. Recently, I had found myself at the point where I had less and less to bring up to her in sessions. And, I found myself wanting to work through more career-related topics that felt more in line with a life coach again.

I knew that budget-wise and time-wise, I couldn’t be seeing both a therapist and a life coach weekly and didn’t need both in full force at the same time. So I’m currently in a phase of transitioning out of therapy and back to life coaching…meeting with each twice a month with the goal to spread out therapy even more until I phase it out completely (for now).

So now that I have worked with a life coach twice, here are some more thoughts about it if you’re considering one and answers to questions I get a lot about it:

What is involved and what do you talk about with a Life Coach? We mostly talk about my career, my business, my role as a boss and leader, my goals and dreams, anything that is of interest to me to talk about, anything giving me stress. We don't talk much about my family or personal relationships as that's not what I come to her with. But she is there to discuss any of those if I need it.

When is the right time to get a life coach and how do you know if you need one? It's different for everyone. Some people will never need or want one. Some people will but at different stages of life. I do think that people who are the right fit for a life coach are usually a little older and have experienced a bunch of different things first (possibly marriage, kids, divorce). This is not career counseling for someone who is fresh out of school and trying to figure out their life in the way we all do when we are a young adult. My coach always says that you find one when you are ready for one. For me, it's about if you are having trouble navigating various areas of your life or feel conflicted in some way.

For me, a life coach is helpful for when you’re feeling stuck.

Often, desires for career changes or slumps tend to push people to seek help from a life coach. Sometimes, it’s a change of lifestyle (new city, divorce, etc.). These are things that are not necessarily emotional (which a therapist can better help with) but things that you just need an outside perspective on how to best manage and navigate all the things.

How much does it cost?
Just as therapy ranges in price (often from $75-300/hour), life coaching also ranges in price as I have seen it go from $100-1000/hour. Just like lots of service-based businesses, it really depends on how much experience someone has, who their audience is, and how they charge for their time (hourly vs. monthly retainer). There are lots of life coaches out there who are just getting started and will charge lower rates to get their feet wet and grow their businesses. So don’t assume it’s out of reach financially or that you need someone with decades of experience until you research what’s out there.

The one cost difference with life coaching vs. therapy is that you likely cannot get reimbursed through your insurance (like you can with therapy). However, if you have your own business, it can be considered a business expense as the coach is someone you’re paying to help you with your business needs and goals.

Whether a personal friend or partner—or outside sources like a therapist or life coach—every single person in your life should want YOU to be happy. Help is help in any form you can get it. To me, it’s about figuring out what kind of help you need and then seeking those who are best equipped to help you.

Thank you so much for being here and reading Crazy. Mad. Joy. Whether you’re new to my work or a long time supporter, I appreciate you so much! And, if you like what you’re reading, please consider sharing with others.